Episodes
Friday Feb 21, 2020
Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999) Commentary
Friday Feb 21, 2020
Friday Feb 21, 2020
The boys are back from another minor hiatus from the realm of Star Wars shlock, but have no fears friends, because we've got just the antidote you need! More Star Wars shlock!
That's right ladies and gentlemen, the time has finally come to cover the next official installment in the epic "Skywalker Saga", Star Wars - Episode I: The Phantom Menace. We've got thrills, we've got chills, we've got hours of seemingly endless boredom--it's all here folks!
So come with us now as we watch the triumphant(?) return of George Lucas to the directors chair, and find out if this series reboot really was the second coming of christ.
This commentary was recorded on Dec. 14th, 2019.
Email your favorite masochists at thenoviceelitists@gmail.com
Friday Jan 24, 2020
Ewoks: The Battle For Endor (1985) Commentary
Friday Jan 24, 2020
Friday Jan 24, 2020
The Novice Elitists boys are still out vacationing on everybody's favorite Forest Moon, and both feel quite appalled by the sudden spike of violence going on here. A band of marauders have shown up and have been getting quite uppity. It definitely won't reflect well on our trip advisor ratings! Will our dashing heroes make it through The Battle for Endor? Find out now in the exciting conclusion to...The Novice Elitists take Endor!
This commentary was recorded on Nov. 23rd, 2019
Email The Novice Elitists Podcast at thenoviceelitists@gmail.com
Thursday Jan 16, 2020
Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adenture (1984) Commentary
Thursday Jan 16, 2020
Thursday Jan 16, 2020
The Novice Elitists are back from their detour with a certain Life Day celebration, and are continuing their tour of the forest moon of Endor. Our original group of rebels have all gone home (or are they yet to come?), but your intrepid masochists' have stuck around to meet a new pair of sibling-heroes! Will Cindel and Mace rival Luke and Leia for the best sibling pair of the Star Wars retrospective? Find that out and more, in the latest edition of...The Novice Elitists: Across the 8th Dimension!
This commentary was recorded on October 26th, 2019.
Email The Novice Elitists Podcast @thenoviceelitists@gmail.com
Friday Dec 27, 2019
The Star Wars Holiday Special (1978) Commentary
Friday Dec 27, 2019
Friday Dec 27, 2019
Happy Life Day everybody, and welcome to a very special edition of The Novice Elitists Podcast. It's torture time here in the NE Bunker, and this year we're taking it where it hurts. Star Wars was a childhood love for both of our daring hosts, and to think it hit a nadir such as this is a painful enough experience. But the thought alone does not compare to the oppressive agony of actually watching the film. So put on your best S&M gear, and don't forgot your nipple clamps, as we get ready to feel pain only a masturbating Wookie could give, with The Star Wars Holiday Special.
This commentary was recorded Dec 21st, 2019.
Email The Novice Elitists Podcast at thenoviceelitists@hotmail.com
Wednesday Dec 25, 2019
Return of the Jedi (1983) Commentary
Wednesday Dec 25, 2019
Wednesday Dec 25, 2019
The time has come, ladies and gentlemen. We've got our tissue boxes prepped and our footy pajamas on, as we say goodbye to our good friends, and enemies, as the ewoks' win the day in 1983's Return of the Jedi. The Novice Elitists boys debate the positive, and negative merits of the film, but overall couldn't be happier to be here, as we venture through the final film in the original Star Wars trilogy. Will the boys give the film a pass on some of its' lesser elements, or will the film stand up better than it's reputation might claim? Find out now in this stunning new episode of The Novice Elitists Podcast!
This commentary was recorded on Oct. 6th, 2019
Email The Novice Elitists Podcast at thenoviceelitists@gmail.com
Friday Dec 06, 2019
The Empire Strikes Back (1980) Commentary
Friday Dec 06, 2019
Friday Dec 06, 2019
Ladies and Gentlemen, we're back. It's that time of year again--what time is that, you ask? Time for The Novice Elitists boys to gush about Star Wars for 2+ hours. And this time the gush fest couldn't be more deserved. Join us, as we go on about how great Frank Oz is in this film, or how fantastic the design work is across the board. As well as the brilliant musical stylings of John Williams, and the many other heaps of love we toss at the screen. It'd be fair to say, if you hate this film, eh, you might not get a lot out of this podcast. But listen to it anyway, cause why not!
This commentary was recorded on September 14, 2019.
Email your favorite two podcasters at thenoviceelitists@gmail.com
Friday Dec 06, 2019
Black Angel (1980) Commentary
Friday Dec 06, 2019
Friday Dec 06, 2019
After too long a break, The Novice Elitists boys are finally returning to a galaxy far far away...but first a minor detour to watch Black Angel. Come with us now, on a journey through time and space, and picture the scene: It's 1980, you're a young Star Wars fan somewhere in the UK and you just bought a ticket to see the sequel to the biggest film of all time! You plop down in your uncomfortable cinema chairs; you get all cozied up with the couple Star Wars toys that you couldn't help but bring to the movie, and get amped up as the lights turn low, wildly excited to see your old friends battle against those old enemies, then bam! Before the movie starts you get treated to a weird semi-surrealist short film with guys in armor throwing around swords, and with an ending that leaves you mildly preplexed. Well no need to image it too hard, cause that's what you're getting right now! That's right folks, listen to your podcasting overlords and pull up youtube, or wherever you can get a copy. Set it to timestamp zero, and travel back in time with your boys from the NE, and we'll recreate that theatrical experience together, with this double feature of doom, with Black Angel and The Empire Strikes Back.
This commentary was recorded on September 14, 2019.
Email The Novice Elitists Podcast at thenoviceelitists@gmail.com
Wednesday Nov 13, 2019
Star Wars (1977) [Blu-Ray Edition] Commentary
Wednesday Nov 13, 2019
Wednesday Nov 13, 2019
Ladies and gentlemen we're here. The Novice Elitists boys' have finally come home, and they've delivered the podcast they were destined to make. (Well, at least partially, considering we watched the Blu-ray edition)
That's right friends, the time has come to finally make good on all our constant references, and cover the 1977 science-fantasy epic, Star Wars. Will they manage to deliver a biased, unbiased review? Or will it just devolve into fanboy gushing? (I'm not saying anything, I'm just saying it) And will the beauty of this new Blu-ray ease some of the pain of the special edition add-ons? Find out now, in the exciting conclusion to The Novice Elitists' Conquer the World.
This episode was recorded on June 8th, 2019.
Stay tuned for the continuing Adventures of The Novice Elitists as we make our way through the world of Star Wars, and all the films that that entails.
Email The Novice Elitists podcast at, thenoviceelitsits@gmail.com